I like my baby heir, with baby hair and afros. I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils. – Beyoncé “Formation”

One of the first questions black women would ask me when I was out in public with A as a little baby was, “Do you know what to do with her hair?” They approached us in restaurants, on airplanes, even walking down the street, with a concerned expression. I’ve always been happy to get their advice.

Natural hair bloggers, Instagram tutorials, and YouTube videos have also been helpful as I try to figure it out.

11 Huge Healthy Afro Hacks (Type 4a/4b/4c) Natural Hair

Complete Toddler Regimen

I spend about twice as much money on A’s hair care products and tools than I do on my own. I started deep conditioning, finger-detangling, and experimenting with puffs and two strand twists when she was around 18 months old. Now I can do very simple braids, too. Here’s a recent effort.


I’ve always been a makeup and hair product junkie. I find beauty supply stores intoxicating. Now I have another head of hair to take care of, one that couldn’t possibly be more different than mine. My hair is slightly wavy, very fine, and thinning. A’s curls are endless and defy gravity.

We spend an hour or two every Sunday putting it in a protective style, which needs refreshing a few times, but lasts about 5 or 6 days.

This is one of my earlier efforts. My parts were still a little wonky then and her head looked a bit like a grenade, but I don’t hate it.


My goal is to get good enough at doing her hair that the styles last longer than a week. I want her scalp to be healthy and her hair to grow long and fabulous. It will let my daughter know that she’s worthy of lots of care, it will signal to other people that she’s well cared for, and wash day is mother-daughter time that I enjoy every week. I genuinely love every second of it.